Why am I like this?

(Listen to Burno Mars 'just the way you are' first)

Good day my friends, it is from the bottom of my mind I’m writing to you today. I think the real me is starting to rear her head and we are not even one month in. Anyway, I want to complain because I don’t know about you but does this rain not have limit or etiquette. Look at it this way, I wake up in the morning to start preparing for work, the weather is clear skies, I do my morning chores, the weather is still as clear as ever, I eat my breakfast then finish dressing for the day, still clear skies, in fact, the sun is starting to come out. Then I carry my bag to leave the house, then rain starts falling without any warning. Now I have to go to work looking bed draggled, see what this rain is doing to my steeze. I mean, I don’t mind afternoon rain, I can always walk in the rain but morning rain, please!!

Back in PHE class, Mr. Adeosun told us that the ancient Greek used to put their newly born to Mount Olympus and keep them there for a while, then go and carry them after. If the babies survive, then they are considered fit. They call it survival of the fittest. You can imagine how many kids would have died as a result of that.

You ever just think back on your life and wonder the kind of person you would have been if you didn’t have that turning moment?

I like to think growing up, we were very sheltered, then I went ahead to a boarding house. See, there are boarding houses, and there is Federal Government College, Ilorin. The first instinct that school teaches you is survival, I mean, we were literally catering for ourselves. Some of us were lucky to have school mothers but then there’s hierarchy at that level. Then those that didn’t have anyone watching out for them or worse still, your own school mother becomes your greatest ops, it was literally kill or be killed.

One year, I got a very gentle school mother, she was the deputy head girl, I always get privileges as her school daughter and also from her counterpart, the deputy head boy. These privileges I cashed out in the dining hall especially during weekends so I always got extra plate of food. There were two seniors in my room that would always refuse to come to the dining hall but they want to eat. They are always pressuring me to get food for them, sometimes I give them my extra plate or beg my school mother which she barely answers me.

One time they punished me just because I didn’t get food for them and I dreaded the next things they might do to me. The next time they gave my nylon to get food for them, I ate my food and even the one Badiru, my school mother’s counterpart gave me. My friend asked how I want to get food for these troublesome babes, then I packed remnants from the tables around for them.

Oh please, don’t judge me, I was just doing what I could do. Mind you, I was just in Jss2. I took this to the hostel for them and they didn’t even know the difference but that was the last time they sent me to get food for them and that was the last time I did it. But looking back, do I feel sorry, maybe. If I have an opportunity to do it again, will I do it, absolutely yes. That was the only way to escape the punishments and bullying.

Another time was 2020, after the whole world was literally crippled by covid, I made some life changing choices. I think about the time I wanted to study medicine; I wondered if I had waited for another year instead of jumping at chemistry. I think about the times I walked out of relationships that I decided where not good for me. What would really have been or what happened to turn me to the person I am right now.

Though I am grateful for the woman I’m becoming, I think back and wonder if there are better routes I could have taken, but then still been able to find myself on the right track is really all that matters. So darling readers, put yourself in my shoes and know that where we are today hasn’t been a simple task, we might have sacrificed more or less but what matters is been where we are now and doing what matters to us.

Again, I want to add that you should live life to the fullest, find love, make plans with loved ones and really do exactly what makes you happy!!!

Till i write to you again friends, love you now and always